And I also find myself in a state of limbo, where I can't seem to focus on any particular task, feel quite despondent about a lot of things. No matter how much I know how lucky and blessed I truly am, it's quite impossible to actually find the light at the end of the tunnel, silver lining, or whatever metaphor/cliche applies.
All I'm sure of is what I DON'T want at the moment,
- to argue with my wife and kids as frequently as it seems.
- to have a cash flow that is so stretched, living week to week.
- to live in a house for 7 years and yet nothing in the house reflect that fact.
I guess the obvious thing is to counter these by saying,
- I do want to spend quality time with my wife and kids, cherishing the wonderful people they.
- I want to be able to exist without these monetary issues, I'm not materialistic at all, but live in a world which is obsessed with it.
- I want to live in a house that is bright and inviting.
When I was 31 I decided upon a career path which I now do not enjoy as I had hoped, does not provide me with flexibility as I had hoped and feel as if I have wasted that time. It also is proving very difficult to study for the other aims I do have, which I've talked about in previous postings.
My worst attribute, is that I cannot empty my head of things to do, people to worry about, situations I want to avoid. These projections, in my head, of events that may or not come to fruition.
I normally post a link to twitter and facebook of my posts, but I think on this occasion I won't. At the moment its enough just for me to know I've written this and hopefully I can get off my backside and do the other things I need to do today.