Life's been a bit of a rollercoaster in the last couple of weeks. My dad had a triple bypass on 31st October, and developed a lung infection in the week after, he had to have another operation last Thursday to rectify that and enable the antibiotics they have given, the ability to work the infection through. So emotionally it's been very draining, he was extremely confused and frightened for several days and me, my brothers and our mum have all cry many tears, but thankfully he seems to have turned the corner and is much better, all that that much better is still hooked up to various machines that bleep, a torrent of medication and blood transfusions.
And I also find myself in a state of limbo, where I can't seem to focus on any particular task, feel quite despondent about a lot of things. No matter how much I know how lucky and blessed I truly am, it's quite impossible to actually find the light at the end of the tunnel, silver lining, or whatever metaphor/cliche applies.
All I'm sure of is what I DON'T want at the moment,
I guess the obvious thing is to counter these by saying,
When I was 31 I decided upon a career path which I now do not enjoy as I had hoped, does not provide me with flexibility as I had hoped and feel as if I have wasted that time. It also is proving very difficult to study for the other aims I do have, which I've talked about in previous postings.
My worst attribute, is that I cannot empty my head of things to do, people to worry about, situations I want to avoid. These projections, in my head, of events that may or not come to fruition.
I normally post a link to twitter and facebook of my posts, but I think on this occasion I won't. At the moment its enough just for me to know I've written this and hopefully I can get off my backside and do the other things I need to do today.
And I also find myself in a state of limbo, where I can't seem to focus on any particular task, feel quite despondent about a lot of things. No matter how much I know how lucky and blessed I truly am, it's quite impossible to actually find the light at the end of the tunnel, silver lining, or whatever metaphor/cliche applies.
All I'm sure of is what I DON'T want at the moment,
- to argue with my wife and kids as frequently as it seems.
- to have a cash flow that is so stretched, living week to week.
- to live in a house for 7 years and yet nothing in the house reflect that fact.
I guess the obvious thing is to counter these by saying,
- I do want to spend quality time with my wife and kids, cherishing the wonderful people they.
- I want to be able to exist without these monetary issues, I'm not materialistic at all, but live in a world which is obsessed with it.
- I want to live in a house that is bright and inviting.
When I was 31 I decided upon a career path which I now do not enjoy as I had hoped, does not provide me with flexibility as I had hoped and feel as if I have wasted that time. It also is proving very difficult to study for the other aims I do have, which I've talked about in previous postings.
My worst attribute, is that I cannot empty my head of things to do, people to worry about, situations I want to avoid. These projections, in my head, of events that may or not come to fruition.
I normally post a link to twitter and facebook of my posts, but I think on this occasion I won't. At the moment its enough just for me to know I've written this and hopefully I can get off my backside and do the other things I need to do today.
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